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	<title>Rock.Paper.Scissors.Blog &#187; conflict</title>
	<atom:link href="http://rpsinc.ca/tag/conflict/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://rpsinc.ca/blog</link>
	<description>Where great minds come to play.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:00:35 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Penguings playing rock paper scissors = lessons about breaking out</title>
		<link>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2012/02/08/conflict/</link>
		<comments>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2012/02/08/conflict/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:00:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lee-Anne Ragan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rpsinc.ca/blog/?p=2505</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There&#8217;s a saying in conflict resolution circles that when the going gets rough, we tend to do more of whatever it is that&#8217;s not working. Kinda like the cute penguins in the video clip below. There&#8217;s also a saying that goes doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter" title="conflict" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2203/2116675741_56373b3d7a.jpg" alt="Creative Commons licensed on Flickr by: Lucy Nieto" width="500" height="500" /></p>
<p>There&#8217;s a saying in conflict resolution circles that when the going gets rough, we tend to do <span style="text-decoration: underline;">more</span> of whatever it is that&#8217;s <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not</span> working.</p>
<p>Kinda like the cute penguins in the video clip below.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s also a saying that goes doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity.</p>
<p>Funny from an outsiders view, frustrating and crazy making from the insider&#8217;s perspective, it can be tough to switch gears when we&#8217;re in a rut.</p>
<p>Break out.</p>
<p>Paper&#8217;s great but find your rock, your scissors, your dynamite, your butterflies, your lemon meringue pies (and no, I don&#8217;t know of a Rock Paper Scissors game with those additions but am making a creative point).</p>
<p>Couldn&#8217;t resist this adorable clip, for obvious reasons.</p>
<p>Hope you chuckle along.</p>
<p><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yGZ04MJPDqA" frameborder="0" width="560" height="315"></iframe></p>
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		<title>The Rock.Paper.Scissors newsletter is out: funny resources related to interview with Emmanuel Jal, international hip hop star</title>
		<link>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2012/02/01/the-rock-paper-scissors-newsletter-is-out-funny-resources-related-to-interview-with-emmanuel-jal-international-hip-hop-star/</link>
		<comments>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2012/02/01/the-rock-paper-scissors-newsletter-is-out-funny-resources-related-to-interview-with-emmanuel-jal-international-hip-hop-star/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lee-Anne Ragan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[change management & wellness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emmanuel jal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rpsinc.ca/blog/?p=2481</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This month&#8217;s Rock.Paper.Scissors e-newsletter focuses on what Emmanuel Jal, international hip-hop star &#38; former child soldier had to say when I sat down with him.  Read the entire issue here.  Not on the monthly e-newsletter mailing list?  Sign up for free here. Emmanuel Jal.  If he’s not on your radar, he should be. The following [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_2482" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 250px"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kevenlaw/2658979192/sizes/s/in/photostream/"><img class="size-full wp-image-2482 " title="emmanuel jal" src="http://blog.rpsinc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Giraffe.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="184" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Creative Commons licensed on Flickr by: law keven</p></div>
<p>This month&#8217;s Rock.Paper.Scissors e-newsletter focuses on what Emmanuel Jal, international hip-hop star &amp; former child soldier had to say when I sat down with him.  Read the <a href="http://app.e2ma.net/app2/campaigns/archived/4751/70588e22093e1b92e28fafc6df036cd6/" target="_blank">entire issue here</a>.  Not on the monthly e-newsletter mailing list?  <a href="http://www.rpsinc.ca/" target="_blank">Sign up for free here</a>.</p>
<div>
<p>Emmanuel Jal.  If he’s not on your radar, he should be.</p>
</div>
<p>The following resources, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, build on the themes raised in the interview I did with <a href="http://app.e2ma.net/app2/campaigns/archived/4751/70588e22093e1b92e28fafc6df036cd6/" target="_blank">Emmanuel Jal</a>.</p>
<ul>
<li>Root causes of <strong>conflict</strong>: see this hilarious video for the <a href="http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/2918660/This+Bed+Is+A+Bit+Uncomfortable/" rel="surprising lumps &amp; bumps of conflict we can be clueless of" target="_blank">surprising lumps &amp; bumps of conflict we can be clueless of</a> (watch what happens when she gets out of bed) (it&#8217;s a mere few seconds long).</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Role of <strong>humour</strong>: see Improv Everywhere&#8217;s clip below on not taking ourselves too seriously.</li>
</ul>
<p><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q6NU5K3k8Xo" frameborder="0" width="420" height="315"></iframe></p>
<ul>
<li>On <strong>change</strong>: see how a giraffe caught in quicksand, the clip below, can make you howl &amp; teach you about change at the same time</li>
</ul>
<p><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/eDi_d6BSINw" frameborder="0" width="420" height="315"></iframe></p>
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		<title>The Rock.Paper.Scissors newsletter is out: what a former child solider has to say about forgiveness &amp; more</title>
		<link>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2012/01/23/the-rock-paper-scissors-newsletter-is-out-what-a-former-child-solider-has-to-say-about-forgiveness-more/</link>
		<comments>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2012/01/23/the-rock-paper-scissors-newsletter-is-out-what-a-former-child-solider-has-to-say-about-forgiveness-more/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lee-Anne Ragan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[change management & wellness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Diversity & culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[activism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emmanuel jal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[passion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rpsinc.ca/blog/?p=2466</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This month&#8217;s Rock.Paper.Scissors e-newsletter focuses on what Emmanuel Jal, international hip-hop star &#38; former child soldier had to say when I sat down with him.  Read the entire issue here or see below for an excerpt.  Not on the monthly e-newsletter mailing list?  Sign up for free here. Emmanuel Jal.  If he’s not on your [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_2467" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 330px"><a href="http://blog.rpsinc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Emmanuel-Jal-LA.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-2467" title="Emmanuel Jal, Lee-Anne Ragan" src="http://blog.rpsinc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Emmanuel-Jal-LA.jpg" alt="" width="320" height="240" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Emmanuel Jal &amp; Lee-Anne Ragan</p></div>
<div>This month&#8217;s Rock.Paper.Scissors e-newsletter focuses on what Emmanuel Jal, international hip-hop star &amp; former child soldier had to say when I sat down with him.  Read the <a href="http://app.e2ma.net/app2/campaigns/archived/4751/70588e22093e1b92e28fafc6df036cd6/" target="_blank">entire issue here </a>or see below for an excerpt.  Not on the monthly e-newsletter mailing list?  <a href="http://www.rpsinc.ca/" target="_blank">Sign up for free here</a>.</div>
<div>
<p>Emmanuel Jal.  If he’s not on your radar, he should be.</p>
</div>
<div>
<p>This self-described <em>‘modern day nomad’</em> was born during the vicious, war torn times of Sudan.  After witnessing gruesome murders &amp; being recruited as a child soldier from the ages of seven to eleven, he was rescued by a British aid worker &amp; smuggled into Kenya.</p>
</div>
<div>
<p>When most kids were cuddling teddy bears his closest ally was his AK47.  While that would make a memorable story in itself, fast forward to today.</p>
</div>
<div>
<p>Now he’s an internationally renowned peace activist, campaigning against the use of child soldiers, the subject of the award winning film <a href="http://www.warchildmovie.com/"><em>War Child</em></a>, founder of the charity <a href="http://www.gua-africa.org/">Gua Africa</a> &amp; a world famous hip-hop artist (he performed at Nelson Mandela’s 90<sup>th</sup> birthday party).</p>
</div>
<div>
<p>I had the privilege of interviewing him at last year’s Vancouver Folk Music Festival, just after South Sudan became Africa’s newest country. Draw your chair close &amp; listen up, with his captivating combination of humbleness &amp; tenacity, he’s wise beyond his years.</p>
</div>
<div>
<p> <strong>1.  </strong><strong>On art influencing activism </strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Emmanuel says <em>“music has become ..  the painkiller … a healer to a lot of issues that I’m going through.  Music is what I use to support the causes that I believe in because I find that through music it’s easier … when you’re known as a musician you can easily pass out information faster. And people won’t get bored of you depending on how you do it.”  </em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">As someone who’s seen him perform live onstage, no one but no one could be bored watching him.  See what I mean with this video of him performing my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLlOg8y_QNQ&amp;feature=related">favourite song <em>Emma</em></a>.  He’s like a mystic Sufi energizer bunny.<strong></strong><em><br />
</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How it applies to you &amp; business:</em> find your strategic stage &amp; use it. While it may not be a literal stage we all have ways at our disposal to <em>pass out information faster. </em>What’s yours?</p>
<p><strong>2.    </strong><strong>On activism influencing art </strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“My activism is actually inspired by what I went through because I was born in a war torn country. I lost my childhood. And so the fact that I’m here, I find I have the responsibility &amp; I’m a voice for those who can’t speak for themselves. And that’s why I take it really seriously.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How it applies to you &amp; business:</em> what inspires you?  Blend your inspiration with your responsibility to give back &amp; make a difference.</p>
<p><strong>3.    </strong><strong>On conflict</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Poverty, greed &amp; economics are at the root of conflict Emmanuel says.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“You know poverty brings a lot of conflicts in different ways. When your stomach is empty you’ll be forced to steal. But ethnic cleansing … happens when ideologies are built by a different group so they could have more to themselves. And so in my country it’s a long, long story but the root cause I take it as economics.  Religion is just a tool but … the bottom line it’s poverty. It’s the resources. It’s the economy that’s  actually causing all these things.”<br />
</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How it applies to you &amp; business:</em> the root causes of conflict are hidden.  Dig deep to find the true cause of conflicts you’re facing.  Find the true root &amp; you’re halfway there to managing or resolving the conflict.</p>
<p><strong> </strong><strong>4.    </strong><strong>On effecting change </strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Change takes nurturing.  It takes time.</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">When I asked Emmanuel what it was like to have helped create a new country he said <em>“It’s exciting, it’s [a] new baby that needs to be taken care of. I can’t wait to be part of it &amp; help it grow.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Change takes education.</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Emmanuel recounts <em>“my change happened when I was rescued by a British aid worker called Emma McCune. As a young man I was still bitter. One of the things I had in my mind was if I go to this lady’s country </em>[Kenya], <em>I’m going to learn how to fly a plane &amp; come back &amp; go to war. And because I hated Muslims &amp; Arabs &amp; I wanted to revenge for my family. But when I was in school &amp; I was educated, I was helped. I came to discover people like Nelson Mandela, I came to learn about Martin Luther King, I came to learn about Gandhi.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Change takes faith &amp; forgiveness (of yourself &amp; others)</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“And so these leaders played a big part in my life &amp; also reading the bible as a Christian I’m advised to forgive. The first investment I did for myself was to forgive. When I forgave I was free. So forgiving myself for my past because I was, I was cursing for the things that I’ve done. And then I realized look it wasn’t my fault you know  so I had to  forgive myself &amp; forgive those who have hurt me. So it’s a two way thing.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“Forgiveness will elevate you to a form of power that you don’t actually know as  a person until you experience it because you become free.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Change takes attention to scope &amp; loss</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Emmanuel raises money to build schools. He figured he’d eat one meal a day to raise money &amp; it would take about a month to raise enough cash to build a school.  It actually took 662 days. Yes, he spent 662 days eating one meal a day. <em>“We put kids that were learning under the trees into classes.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The lessons around change?  Scope &amp; loss.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">He figures change is about loss. <em>“What are you willing to lose to make the world a better place? Somebody got to lose something, we all have to lose something.”  </em>We need to know what we are willing to give up in order to gain.  For him it was eating.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">And for the kids he speaks to? <em>“And so I tried it out &amp; I found some kids, some kids say ‘Look I don’t have money but I normally have games in my house… I’m going to lose my PlayStation because that could put another kid in school.’ So kids become so creative. Another says, ‘Okay I’m going to lose at least a chocolate bar a week because that’s like 50 cents.’ 50 cents can feed a family.”</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Change is also about scope.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">“[With] <em>people &amp; social media giving $1, $2. I’d rather raise $1million from 1million people than a one-off donation from one person.”</em></p>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p><em>How it applies to you &amp; business:</em> effecting change takes nurturing, time, education, faith, forgiveness &amp; attention to scope &amp; loss.  To start, pick 1 or 2 of these elements &amp; see how they apply to a substantive issue you’re trying to effect change in.<strong><br />
</strong></p>
</div>
<p><strong>5.    </strong><strong>On passion</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“Passion I have is what keeps me going. You know like for example I want to build a school , I want to build a legacy of Emma McCune who rescued me. I want to give other children a chance to go to school. Sometime when I feel like I want to give up but these things whenever I see or remember they give me so much energy that I want to keep on going.”<br />
</em></p>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p><em>How it applies to you &amp; business:</em> what’s the root of your passion?  What keeps you going?  Find your well &amp; draw deep.</p>
</div>
<p><strong>6.    </strong><strong>On the role of inspiration</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“So I don’t need to tell them what to do, all I have to do is inspire them &amp; do something. And when they listen they want to do something.”</em></p>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p><em>How it applies to you &amp; business:</em> inspiration plays a huge role in effecting change.  Draw a direct line between what you’re trying to influence &amp; inspiration.</p>
</div>
<p>As our interview wound up I asked Emmanuel if he had any words of advice.  He said <em>“Just look.  Look for those who care. I’m looking for those who care, those who are willing to make a difference.  Those are the people I’m looking for.</em><strong> </strong><em>Those who are fortunate enough, have got a greater responsibility to make this world a better place.”</em></p>
<p>So get out there.  Find your tribe &amp; effect some change.  Need some inspiration along the way?  Check out <a href="http://www.emmanueljal.com/">www.emmanueljal.com</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/EmmanuelJAL" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/EmmanuelJAL</a> or Emmanuel’s charity <a href="http://www.gua-africa.org/">www.gua-africa.org</a> for more information.<strong></strong></p>
</div>
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		<title>What is conflict?  (or how big are your balls)</title>
		<link>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2011/07/18/what-is-conflict/</link>
		<comments>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2011/07/18/what-is-conflict/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Jul 2011 16:00:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lee-Anne Ragan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dyana valentine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wiifm]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rpsinc.ca/blog/?p=1945</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What is conflict? Conflict is universal.  It&#8217;s something we all face in our personal and our professional lives.  It&#8217;s something we all face in training and development.  Show me a trainer who hasn&#8217;t faced a conflict and I&#8217;ll show you a moon made out of mocha. All conflicts have three balls.  The balls are different [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/visualpanic/4550462710/sizes/m/in/photostream/"><img class="aligncenter" title="what is conflict" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4038/4550462710_b7e378c675.jpg" alt="" width="334" height="500" /></a></p>
<p>What is conflict?</p>
<p>Conflict is universal.  It&#8217;s something we all face in our personal and our professional lives.  It&#8217;s something we all face in training and development.  Show me a trainer who hasn&#8217;t faced a conflict and I&#8217;ll show you a moon made out of mocha.</p>
<p>All conflicts have three balls.  The balls are different sizes in relation to each other, depending both on the particular conflict and depending on you.</p>
<p>How big are your balls?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Ball number one: Anxiety</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">All conflict produces some level of anxiety for the conflictees.  For some, given the choice between facing a conflict head on or having a Brazilian wax, they choose the latter.  For some the idea of getting up in front of a group to teach a workshop means having smelling salts (or today&#8217;s version, Rescue Remedy) handy. In both cases the anxiety ball is BIG.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Others are known as sh$t disturbers &#8211; in fact they&#8217;ll provoke a debate for the rush it gives them.  For some the idea of getting up in front of a group to teach is a thrill, a distinct pleasure.  In both cases the anxiety ball is small.<strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Ball number two: Suck</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">All conflict involves stuff we don&#8217;t like, things we&#8217;d rather not do.  Some people have a tremendous ability to <em>hoc pati filias regis</em> (Latin for &#8216;suck it up princess).  Others have little ability to face what they&#8217;d prefer to avoid.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A conflict may involve a morass of mess &#8211; working with an entire group of training participants who are there against their will and who are not happy about it.  Or in the case of my friend &amp; colleague <a href="http://www.dyanavalentine.com" target="_blank">Dyana Valentine</a>, showing up recently to speak to 500 conference participants and realizing 15 minutes before taking the stage that the organizers copied the wrong handouts.  In this case the suck ball is BIG.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A conflict can also involve minor irritants &#8211; like a slightly cold workshop room, starting a couple of minutes late etc.  In this case the suck ball is small.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Ball number three: WIIFM</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">What makes you motivated to resolve the conflict, dig in your heels, hesitate, stall, procrastinate, move towards resolution, back off, back up or back in?<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/82213449@N00/68584789/sizes/s/in/photostream/"><img class="alignright" title="what is conflict" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/12/68584789_b5e25dd9f5_m.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="217" /></a><strong> </strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Ahh the taste of personal motivation.  In every conflict our brains seek out &#8216;what&#8217;s in it for me&#8217; (WIIFM).  Sometimes it&#8217;s not about the anxiety it&#8217;s about there not being enough in it for me.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Your answer(s) to the above questions will decree what size your WIIFM ball is.  Big motivation = big ball.  Little or no motivation = small ball.</p>
<p>Next time you face a conflict consider what size your balls are.  They can be a handful (or a mouthful).</p>
<p>What is conflict?  Look to your balls to tell you.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Hats off to the fantastic team at <a href="http://www.cameray.ca/" target="_blank">Cameray</a> for this concept.</p>
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		<title>When it comes to life (&amp; that includes training) expect the unexpected</title>
		<link>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2010/10/20/when-it-comes-to-life-that-includes-training-expect-the-unexpected/</link>
		<comments>http://rpsinc.ca/blog/2010/10/20/when-it-comes-to-life-that-includes-training-expect-the-unexpected/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Oct 2010 16:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lee-Anne Ragan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor & comedy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[training & development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[corporate training]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[learning & development]]></category>

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