Conflict resolution scripts designed to reduce overwhelm & amp up your ease

Photo Credit: raganmd Flickr via Compfight cc

To throw, catch & keep in the air, several things simultaneously.

Recognize what word that’s a definition for?  Do you recognize yourself in it?  I hope so because you’re probably a master at doing it.

That’s the definition of juggling.

Overwhelm with a capital O

Juggling all you need to do for your work, your family, your community & yourself can be overwhelming.  Enter Overwhelm, with a capital O.

And when differences & misunderstandings arise, it can make the overwhelm ramp up faster than the monkey who visits my yard from time to time, can shimmy up to my second story kitchen through an open window & steal my mangos if I’m not careful.

Differences & misunderstandings can also make us drop the balls we’re juggling – because it’s hard to keep your eye on the ball when you’re freaking out (whether or not anybody can tell you’re having a meltdown based on that sarcastic comment from your so-called colleague, the multiple & conflicting deadlines you’re facing, the uncomfortable shoes you wore to work today, the call you just took saying that your kid is sick etc.)

A recipe for ease – some helpful scripts for conflict resolution

Enter some ease.  Pluuuueeze.

That’s why when I came across some scripts for conflict resolution from HBR’s (Harvard Business Review) Virtual Collaboration 20 minute manager series, my brain snapped to attention.

The next time you’re juggling multiple things & on top of it all facing conflict, with your supervisor, a colleague or someone else, think about using one of the following scripts, which are aimed at understanding differences:

  • I’m sensing a gap in how we think about ________.  What’s going on there?
  • You seem concerned about _______.  Can you help me understand what’s driving that?
  • I’m concerned about _______, but you don’t seem to be.  Can yo help me understand why not?
  • The _____ aspect of this work is the most challenging for me right now (or is taking the most time).  What about you?

And just how can this make life easier for you? How can you expect to feel with practicing these tips? I’ll leave you with these words from a reader who emailed me recently.

Hey Lee Anne,

Just a quick note to let you know how much I enjoyed this post and the two step suggestion on conflict resolution as well. It is an art and these simple tools are invaluable – just need to remember to breathe, think and then speak in times they are necessary (minus road ranting of course..)

Wish you well.


Take action

  • If you find yourself facing a conflict, try one of the scripts.  Which one did you use?  How did it go?  Feel free to share in the comment section below.
  • As with last week, I invite you to send me three words that describe how you feel about conflict. One reader said: polarized, tense, pressure cooker.  What are your words?  Simply click on this link to submit your 3 words.  And feel free to share the link if you’ like.  I’ll turn the responses into a spiffy piece of art in an upcoming post.  (And don’t worry, it’s all anonymous.)



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2 Responses to “Conflict resolution scripts designed to reduce overwhelm & amp up your ease”

  1. Carol Says:
    March 8th, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Thanks for this, I hate conflict and am always looking for ideas. Sometimes I am surprised at what people are annoyed about and to cover the surprise I say “tell me more about that” and it gives me both some more information and a chance to breathe.

  2. Lee-Anne Ragan Says:
    March 12th, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    Hi Carol. Way to go- clever you. It’s like taking a drink of water & pausing all in one. Time + breath = better, more informed ways to move through & forward.

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