Are you using all your strength?
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication, Social Responsibility, Travel
You can be sure the people in Haiti are. Using all their strengths that is.
Sometimes we are oblivious to our most obvious strengths.
A little girl was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone.
Her mother came along just then.
Noting the girl’s failure, she asked, “Are you using all your strength?”
“Yes, I am,” the little girl said impatiently.
“No, you are not,” the mother answered.
“I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.”
-author unknown
Rebecca Solnit, author of A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster, talked of the good that can come from large-scale natural disasters – from the “improvised communities” people form “to pull each other out of the rubble” to the feeling of purposefulness, self-transcendence and even “deep joy” people experience in places where disaster hits.
Ms. Solnit speaks of survivors finding “a deep connection that is often missing” in their ordinary lives.
In a disaster, she said, “we not only do extraordinary things; we feel extraordinary things. A lot of the things that trouble us every day – whether we are lonely or feel bitter about the past – a lot of those things are brushed away.”
My heart goes out to Haiti and all the remarkable people there. May their strengths and ours combine to rebuild and reinvigorate.
And you? Who are you? Really. Are you using all your strength? Really?
For some help in discovering (or rediscovering) your strengths Marcus Buckingham style see this newsletter.
Tags: disaster, haiti, paradise built in hell, possibilities, rebecca solnit, strength
Cookie dough & the delicate balance of today & tomorrow
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Communication, Conflict resolution, Humor & comedy
Before I can blink, with a shake of his shaggy head, my teen inhales food. All the food. All the time.
Hence I hoard.
(Much to his shock, horror and dismay.)
“Moooooooooooooooom!” (drawing out the vowel as only a kid can do) “Where is the cookie dough?”
(Confession time; I love to make cookies however they rarely make it from the dough to the oven.)
Little does he know that I’ve found a new and improved hiding space for said dough.
My hiding cookie dough and other treats gets his proverbial knickers in a knot. He protests it’s not fair (accompanied by much rolling of the eyes, sighing and other loud exhalations).
I’ve come to understand that this one isn’t explainable. He, in his focus on the here and now and what is just and right in the eyes of 12 year old, isn’t capable of understanding delaying gratification, making things last, drawing out the sweets and the sweetness.
His world is about NOW.
And while I marvel at the ease in which he lives in the moment, I also appreciate my adult ability to make things last, and plan for the future. Besides my waistline thanks me.
And you? What’s your balance between living for the moment and planning for the future?
Tags: cookie, cookie dough, future, present, teenage, teens
Stress relief a la country music & dill pickles
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication, Humor & comedy
In my last post I talked about my first day on the job, doing job training for developmentally delayed adults when I was 17 years old. I learned a lot about expecting the unexpected there. From helping an elfin older lady named Cookie do up her bra to customizing stress relief.
Stress. It’s a killer, it’s a pain in the back, in the heart and about every other body part.
We all experience it. Not all of us know how to manage it effectively though.
But I digress. First let me tell you more about working with developmentally delayed adults. The organization I was working with would receive items that needed to be assembled. Think folding cardboard boxes and putting items inside in a certain order.
Easy right? Not for the folks I was working with. It was my job to break down the jobs into parts that each person was capable of. It was not easy figuring out for example what Larry, who was some 6′ 8″ tall, with the understanding of a three year old, could manage.
Sometimes I got it right and the human assembly line folded, elastic-banded, sorted, assembled, stacked and packed away.
Sometimes I got it wrong and stress levels would rise. Tempers would flare. Tears would flow and I’d have to start over again, re-assigning and re-designing while soothing hurt feelings.
One day I realized we all needed a break. Something to relieve the stress. I asked around and hit on pickles and country music.
Say what? Yes, that’s right, for some reason this group loved country music and eating pickles.
So the next time a meltdown happened I cranked the music and we all danced around, shaking and shimmying, some to the rhythm of the music, others to the rhythm only they could hear. After a few minutes calm was restored and we continued our work.
Other days I’d serve dill pickles. Different method, same result.
Cost for this wellness plan? Under 10 bucks. Results? Many and marvelous.
And you? What simple, irreverent, unusual methods do you use to relieve stress?
Tags: change management, country music, creativity & innovation, developmental delay, pickles, stress, stress management, Wellness
Job training, elves & bras
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Communication, Creativity & innovation, Humor & comedy
“Hey you! Come here, come here!” Her voice, intense and commanding, sounded like it was being stretched taught across a gravel pit.
It was my first day on the job. I was 17 and working in a centre that provided jobs for developmentally delayed adults.
When I stopped and looked for the owner of the voice, I finally looked down, way down and laid eyes on an elf named Cookie.
Cookie was the far side of 80 and to this day I remember her curly, honey coloured hair, crooked grin and enormous glasses which only made her eyes look even larger than they were. She was wearing a pair of polyester pants and a simple cotton top. A white sweater completed the look.
Being entirely unsure, both of what I was to be doing and what she wanted me for, I followed her gnarled fingers in the direction they were pointing.
Which is how I found myself in the bathroom, with Cookie rooted in front of me, lifting up her top.
My mouth gaped.
I can’t remember if it was more from watching this woman undress and fearing how far she’d go or in amazement at the contraption she was wearing, something that vaguely resembled a bra. Cookie had the developmental age of an 8 year old yet someone had dressed her in a bra that must have had 20 tiny hooks that closed in the front.
Twenty tiny hooks, all of which had come undone except one which was trying hard to hang on.
As she gazed up at me through her coke bottle glasses I guessed she needed help doing up the contraption.
So I did. Carefully. Tentatively. Cautiously.
Cookie and I were fast friends from then on. I’ve never had a more unusual first day on the job since.
Help comes in odd packages. Sometimes you have to simply jump in and trust things will work out.
When have you jumped in lately?
Tags: creativity & innovation, learning, training & development
My extended quirky to do list part 7 – to’odle
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication
My last 6 posts describe an extended, quirky to-do list tool that I use in my corporate training (click here to download a copy for you to use). It has 5 parts:
– to do, to continue doing, to stop doing, to not do, to done (no, the last one’s not a typo) (here’s a description of each)
I thought it might be helpful to conclude this series of posts with a comment from a reader and an update on my progress.
To Do: create more space in time and more physical space
- progress? Ahh the bliss of having taken 10 boxes to Value Village the other day. I actually have empty shelves in the play room. My calendar has more white space as well. I’m enjoying more unplanned, unscheduled time.
To Continue Doing: keep off the weight I’ve lost and keep my monthly dance dates
- progress? I enjoyed lots of Christmas goodies this year but managed to keep the weight off by increasing my workouts. Went family snowshoeing and skiing several times each. As much work as it was to get all flotsam and jetsam out of the house (goggles, mitts, poles, boots, hats, jackets, extra socks, snacks….I swear there is invisible glue holding it to the house) it was joyful being outdoors in the frosty air.
- no monthly dance date of yet; still have to replace my dance ‘date’ who moved to Scotland. Having said that my hubby is home from an international business trip soon. Hmmm. Perhaps we’ll hit the dance floor this weekend.
To Stop Doing: stop finishing things
- progress? You bet your cute buttocks baby. I’m devouring Tim Ferris’ ‘Four Hour Work Week’ and have turned not finishing something, somethign that I decide after starting isn’t strategic or meeting my needs, into an adrenaline surging, smash on the brakes, screeching halt. The bliss that flows from not having to finish something, from not feeling my own imposed pressure, is enlightening.
To Not Do: watch loads of TV
- progress? I keep surprising myself by not turning to TV in the evening. Though I wonder what’s happening on Dragon’s Den, curling up in bed with a good book is inifinitely more relaxing and rejuvenating.
- progress? You bet your sweet socks, I continue to be proud of having been accepted to the FWE e-series program, having done international work for the UN last year, getting back on the ski hill with my family and continuing to meet with my Goddess gals
So far so great. I’m sure 2010 will bring the inevitable ups and downs but I’m feeling on track, focused and ready to rock and roll. Bring it on!
Maybe now I can take the advice of a reader (confession time, none other than my hubby), to add ‘do’odle’ – the ability to avoid following my lists and let my mind wander.
Time to wander, perhaps while listening to this post’s theme music ‘Because We Can’ by Fatboy Slim (a song guaranteed to ramp up your workout by the way).
And you? How are you doing / being with your resolutions?
Tags: accomplishment, because we can, change management, corporate, dragon's den, fatboy slim, forum f, forum for women entrepreneurs, four, four hour work week, new year, progress, resolutions, success, tim ferris, to do, training & development
Powerful training = powerful learning
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Communication, Creativity & innovation
When was the last time you learned something powerful in a group setting?
I’ve asked my workshop participants this very question hundreds of times and I can count on one hand the number of times someone relayed an example that took place in a university setting (see my caveat below).
Powerful learning is relevant.
Powerful learning pushes us so that we feel challenged, but not so hard that we fall and break our noses.
Powerful learning evokes emotion; it makes us feel alive, intrigued, curious and energized.
Powerful learning leads to change.
If powerful learning is all of the above then how come more of it isn’t happening in universities? How come what we hold up to be higher learning doesn’t jive with how brain based learning, adult education, popular education and experiential education (all pedagogies or methods of learning) tell us we learn?
Want to know the answer? It’s really quite simple.
Ready?
It has its roots in one of my ultimate pet peeves, the following popular equation:
content expertise + setting to teach said expertise in + students = learning
Ack! Insert intense frustration, furled eyebrows, and raised blood pressure.
The mistake in the equation is the assumption that just because you know something means you can automatically teach it. There’s a real lack of understanding that being able to teach and create situations of powerful learning requires an entirely separate skill set from whatever your content expertise is in.
You could be the best widget maker in the entire world. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily can teach other people how to make widgets.
To read more about of mine (I wrote it some time ago so ignore the upcoming events section, unless you have access to a time machine).
***********************
Do you have subject matter expertise that you’re called on to teach? Need to brush up on your teaching skills? If you’re in the Vancouver Lower Mainland area you may be interested in a two day course I’m teaching on how to teach (Feb 1 & 2) called Mastering the Complexities of Group Dynamics at the Justice Institute. Hope to see you there.
***********************
Oh and my caveat about universities? I don’t mean to slag them entirely, in fact I spent many years getting a few degrees under my belt. My beef (or tofu if you’re so inclined) is that being in a lecture of hundreds is held up as the baseline for learning. Not!
Tags: adult education, book learning, brain based learning, education, experiential education, group dynamics, learning, popular education, powerful learning, training & development, university
My extended quirky to do list part 6 – my to done’s
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication, Travel
My last 5 posts describe an extended, quirky to-do list tool that I use in my corporate training (click here to download a copy for you to use). It has 5 parts:
(I love that out of the 5 categories only two are about adding things. Can we collectively breath a sigh of relief?)
– to do, to continue doing, to stop doing, to not do, to done (no, the last one’s not a typo) (here’s a description of each)
I’m continuing to share how I’m personally filling them in. For my 2010 to-do’s see this post. For my continue to do’s see this post. For my things to stop doing click here. And here are my not to do’s.
This post is about my to-done’s. No that’s not a typo.
Most of us are so focused on what we want to do, to accomplish, to be or to have that we take nary a nanosecond to focus on what we’ve already done. Our accomplishments. The things that make us feel proud, accomplished and grateful.
We don’t look over our shoulder, back in time, and reflect on the road we’ve traveled.
And if we don’t do that then it follows that we don’t take a moment to pat ourselves on the proverbial back. To heave a sigh of thanks, to send a prayer of gratitude to whomever may be listening.
In that spirit, here are some of my to-done’s.
– I’m excited about having been accepted into the Forum for Women Entreprenuer’s E-series program. I’m looking forward to a learning packed six months with my fellow E-series colleagues.
– I’m very proud of my United Nations work last year. I wrote a new manual on program evaluation and piloted it with UN folks from Tanzania, Rwanda, Kenya and Uganda. It was work that was deeply fulfilling, challenging and whole heck of a lot of fun.
– After a two year hiatus due to minor injuries, I’m really happy to say that our family is back on the ski hills again. We’ve made it up the mountain twice this year (no mean feat given how many accoutrements the sport comes with). There’s nothing like shushing down the slopes with my family, being enveloped by the natural B.C. beauty and enjoying hot chocolate and warming one’s toes at lunch.
– I’m indebted to the impulse that had me gather good friends together one evening some 4 years ago. We call ourselves the Goddesses. That group of women, as diverse and eclectic as we are, has met monthly all this time with the purpose of simply being onselef and checking in, whether we’re tired and grump or wildly ecstatic about some new project. What a privilege – space to simply be yourself and be treasured.
And continuing with the tradition of setting a song to each element of the to-do list, the one for to-done’s is Kool and the Gang’s ‘Celebration’.
And you? What have you to-done? What gives you pause to look behind you, at the road traveled, and give yourself a pat on the back?
Tags: accomplishment, africa, british columbia, celebration, change management, danielle laport, e-series, forum for women entrepreneurs, kool and the gang, learning, nairobi, skiing, tanzania, training & development, uganda, united nations, white hot truth
Arlene Dickinson: We’ve come a long way …. baby?
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication, Humor & comedy
Last night I listened to business owner, entrepreneur and TV star Arlene Dickinson of the Dragon’s Den at the Forum for Women Entrepreneur’s Gala Event. Her captivating journey to entrepreneurship is made more impressive by her humble beginnings.
Years ago, being a single mom with four kids to feed made getting cash through the door a necessity. Going it solo has been her mantra after, in her words, three failed marriages and buying out three male partners. Only ten years ago when she went to the bank for financing to buy out said partners the banker asked where her current male partner was. She couldn’t possibly do this on her own as a woman.
This vintage ad is from 1893
On what makes for business success, Arlene says “so much depends on who you are, your personal style, how you present yourself, your tone”. As someone to whom regular pitches are made for financing, she says “your brand is you”.
“You should be able to tell someone why they should passionately follow you”.
I love that – the clarity, the vision and the implied leadership.
Passion: def’n –> “barely controlled emotion”
Personal style? Personal awareness? Emotion? Sounds like things women excel at.
Sounds like living on the interesting edge to me. Sounds like Mr. Banker had it wrong 10 years ago.
We’ve come a long way… baby…. or have we? What are your thoughts?
Tags: arlene dickinson, branding, cbc, change management, dragon's den, entrepreneurship, forum for women entrepreneurs, fwe, gender, leadership, learning, passion, training & development, vintage, vision
My extended quirky to do list part 5 – what not to do
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication
Continuing the spirit of New Year’s musing, my last 4 posts describe an extended, quirky to-do list tool that I use in my corporate training (click here to download a copy for you to use). It has 5 parts:
(I love that out of the 5 categories only two are about adding things. Can we collectively breath a sigh of relief?)
– to do, to continue doing, to stop doing, to not do, to done (no, the last one’s not a typo) (here’s a description of each)
I’m continuing to share how I’m personally filling them in. For my 2010 to-do’s see this post. For my continue to do’s see this post. For my things to stop doing click here.
This post is about what not to do. Things I want to stay away from like brussels sprouts, second hand smoke and the smell of my teen’s bedroom.
Seriously though for 2010 I am committing to staying away from mindless TV. I spent a month working in Africa late last year (see related posts: African nocturnal visitors, Musings on Africa) and an unintended result was radically reducing how much time I spent watching the tube.
I didn’t miss it.
I did appreciate what I did with that time instead though, such as making cookie dough in the dark (electricity was out), visiting friends, reading, musing, writing…..
After I’d been home about a month I realized with utter shock that I hadn’t watched much TV. Now there’s a kind of change I can hang my hat on – something that happens unconsciously, without effort, like water flowing downhill.
I used to fall onto the couch after the kids were in bed and vegetate in front of the TV. Now I find I have more energy because I’m spending that time replenishing brain cells instead of draining them.
Replenishing as in more time with my kids (‘nuggling and reading), listening to music and writing. I look forward to climbing into bed and plowing through books. I’m reading Tim Ferris’ Four Hour Work Week right now. I’d bet my last piece of dark chocolate that he doesn’t watch much TV.
As music is an integral part of my life, the song that couples with not doing things is none other than fellow Canadian Shania Twain’s ‘Don’t be Stupid’.
And you? What do you not want to do?
Tags: 4 hour work week, africa, brussel sprouts, change management, don't be stupid, new year, reosolution, shania twain, television, tim ferris, to do, tv
My extended quirky to do list part 4 – what to stop doing
Posted by Lee-Anne Ragan | Filed under Change management & wellness, Communication, Humor & comedy
Continuing the spirit of the requisite New Year’s musings, my last 3 posts describe an extended, quirky to-do list tool that I use in my corporate training (click here to download a copy for you to use). It has 5 parts:
– to do, to continue doing, to stop doing, to not do, to done (no, the last one’s not a typo) (here’s a description of each)
I also promised to share with you how I’m personally filling it in. For my 2010 to-do’s see this post. For my continue to do’s see this post.
Most to-do’s are about adding. Adding things to already too full plates. That’s why I like this part of my list, which is things to stop doing.
This year I’m pledging to stop finishing things. Yes, up to this point I am a determined finisher. Start reading a book, article, project, or task? In my head the only possibility was finishing. In fact up to this point I’ve been known to get bug-eyed and twitchy about things left undone.Stopping part way was not an option even when it made a whole lot of sense to do that.
No more.
Partly due to Tim Ferris’ advice I vow to not finish things. I’ll stop the auto-pilot, knee jerk reaction that screams “what? you can’t stop! you must finish or terrible, horrible, no good, really bad things will happen”. I’m going to assume that if I stop reading a book that I don’t really like, stop doing a task that isn’t meeting my needs, or horror of horrors course correct and change business strategies part way through, that the sun will rise tomorrow and I’ll live to see another day.
My theme song for this stopping is none other than Stop, in the name of love (and sanity).
Stay tuned for my next post about my to-done’s.
In the meantime how about you? What do you need and/or want to stop doing?
—————-
Now playing: The Supremes-Stop! In The Name Of Love
via FoxyTunes
Tags: 4 hour work week, change management, four hour work week, learning, new year, resolutions, stop, stop in the name of love, supremes, tim ferris, to do